


Apocalypse

by YourWorstKeptSecret



Category: the GazettE
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 22:30:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18157862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourWorstKeptSecret/pseuds/YourWorstKeptSecret
Summary: Lilith has been dallying with Ruki for about a year or so but has been forced to let him go. He had told her from the beginning. 'Don't get emotionally attached, it won't be returned.' At first, Lilith was fine with that, having no intentions of doing so, as she was still grappling with her own past. However as time progressed, she did the one thing that she swore she wouldn't, she fell. She tried to 'fix' Ruki but unfortunately, his past had too strong a grip on him, that Lilith failed. So, she knows it's time to let go and heal her broken heart. But wait, what's this? Someone else is ready, willing and able to help her with that? Will Uruha be able to help fix her?





	Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> This is angsty and a little dark. Not my usual schtick. This will have a happy ending though. This is a song fic, set to the song Apocalypse, written and performed, by a group called Cigarettes After Sex. I use other songs, in this too, or at least, make mention of them and take snippets from some and turn it into dialogue for characters. The youtube links for all songs used are at the bottom of this, if you want to check any of them out. The snippets and titles of these songs, are marked out via asterisks. Kinda maturish but there's no sex scene, however, there will be a thought process surrounding a sexual encounter, in the form of memory but not enough to warrant an explicit or solid mature warning. So without further ado, I present, Apocalypse. 
> 
>  
> 
> Ruki, Uruha & Aoi
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146688857@N04/47057257222/in/album-72157705303615741/)
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146688857@N04/47414068871/in/album-72157705393277001/)
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146688857@N04/32135421357/in/album-72157676463831007/)

She breathed in deeply and released it in a rush, shaking the memories of the night before from her mind. The memories, that were already eating her alive. 

She could still feel the rush, from when their bodies had moved together in perfect time, keeping an equally perfect rhythm. She could still feel, the burn of his fingertips on her skin as he caressed and stroked. There had been nowhere on her body that hadn’t been touched by him in some way. She could still remember the feel of his mouth on her and his manhood inside her. She felt her body start burning slowly, as her mind reminded her of the inevitable end, the great crescendo and then the fall, she shuddered and shook her head violently. 

She couldn’t think about that because she couldn’t entertain the idea, of how nice it would be, to have his love as well as his body all to herself, every night for the rest of her life. He was only available bodily, he was not available emotionally, which stung more than words could say because she had fallen for him and she had fallen hard. She had sworn that she wouldn’t do it. He had warned her not too, explaining that he would never be able to reciprocate. He had tried to save her from the pain, that her broken heart would bring but she hadn’t listened and now, now she was suffering. 

It was time to end this. Tonight, the past year would be put to rest, forced into the dusty and dank corners of her memory, in a Pandora's box that would never be opened again. She needed to finish this, if only to save herself from anymore pain or heartache, she needed to separate herself from him. He would never be hers, he would always belong to another, to Reila.

He didn’t know, that she knew about Reila, or the story that surrounded her, but she did. He had called for Reila, more than once in his sleep, a sleep that he was taking, while in bed with her and so, she had researched the other woman, originally thinking, that Ruki was using her and found the news stories and the connection between Reila and Ruki. It had broken her heart of course, when she had read and found out the truth, she couldn’t possibly imagine how terrible it had been for him. He had never been able to say goodbye, not in the way that it really mattered. He had said goodbye at her graveside but his heart, his heart had never let go. Thus, leaving him, unable to ever love again or move forward, it was like that ability had died with her. 

She was pulled from her thoughts by her adoptive mother, as the older woman stepped beside her and spoke. 

‘Lilith, baby, it’s time darlin’. Get yourself out of your mental maze, you have a performance to do.’ 

‘I know Mama, I’m just finding it really hard right now. I’m trying.’ Lilith replied to Serena. 

Serena wasn’t her real mother. She was actually a cook for her late family but had taken her in, when she had lost her wealthy parents, in a car wreck that had claimed both their lives instantly. Serena had been Lilith's mother ever since, she was really the only one that Lilith remembered as she had been a toddler when it had happened. Serena had come from a place close to New Orleans, from the Bayou and was a voluptuous and charismatic black woman, that had one of the best personalities, that Lilith had ever experienced. She had also done something, that at the time, had been unheard off. She had taken in an orphaned white child. Serena had been married once before but had lost her husband, a few years into their marriage, they had, had no children before he died and so Serena did what she felt she had to do and Lilith would always be thankful to her for it. 

‘I understand babygirl but let me tell you something, that my Grandmama told me, during my dancing days as a young girl. “*The people don’t care, that come to see you, about whatever problem you have before you walked on stage. They pay to see you, and they’re looking for your best. So whatever is going on with you, that’s not pertaining to your act? You leave it in the dressing room.” I know it’s hard baby, but it’s necessary, live by those words and you’ll never go wrong. Now get out there and give Aoi-san, the birthday performance he asked for. You have three songs to get through and one of those is new. You need your head right girlie.’

Lilith sighed and nodded, pulling Serena into a tight hug. As soon as they pulled apart, she took the hand mirror that Serena handed to her, as she checked her make-up and hair. The ‘S’ waves were still sitting perfectly, as was her exaggerated side parting. She checked her make-up next, finding that the smoky shadow around her green eyes was still perfect as were her ruby red lips. She double checked and made sure her diamond dangle earrings were still in place and finding that they were, she nodded and handed the mirror back. She then straightened out her black, ruched, off the shoulder, skin tight, floor length evening dress and made her way onto the stage, her black Louboutin stilettos, clicking gently as she went. The stage was temporary and had been set up in the influential club, that had been rented out, just for the night. Serena was right, just because Lilith had issue with Ruki, didn’t mean she could let Aoi down, they’d been friends longer than she’d known Ruki. 

Serena took her place in the middle of the stage, her eyes scanning the crowd, her breath hitching when she caught Ruki staring at her, a smoldering look on his face as he took her appearance in. She knew that look, she was all too familiar with it by now. He was desirous of her once again but, unfortunately for him, he would not get the ending that he expected tonight, no, he would be getting much the opposite. She pulled her gaze from his gorgeous face, to continue her sweep of the crowd as she began to greet everyone, thanking them for coming out and showing their support of Aoi and joining in the celebrations of his fortieth birthday. Once the crowd had finished clapping politely, Lilith launched into her act, following the music played by the gathered band behind her, her first song was a particular favorite of Aoi’s and it was called, **Eye’s on Fire.

Soon, she was finishing her second song, ‘***Leather’ and getting ready to start on her third and final song. The new one. The one that was going to subtly let Ruki know, that things were over and that they were no more. She smiled out to the crowd as the clapping and whistling died down and addressed them as soon as the room was quiet again. 

‘Thank you so much everyone. I appreciate your praise and I’m glad you are enjoying the music. This next song, is my last and it’s also a new one. I wrote it recently, about a week ago in fact and it’s about something personal, that has been going on in my life for, oh, the past year or so. And I figured, what better time to reveal it, than at one of my best friends parties. He always tells me to let him hear my new material before anyone else, so here we go. This is called ****Apocalypse. Please enjoy and thank you all, once again, for coming out tonight and making Aoi feel special because he deserves it. So, without further ado, take it away boys.’

As the band began to play, Lilith started to sway her body to the melody as it floated through the room and as she did this, she swept her eyes around the area. She could see looks of confusion or intrigue on everyone’s faces, everyone’s, except Ruki’s. His expression was tight and nervous, as he glanced around at his band-mates. His band-mates didn’t know about he and Lilith and she knew he was on tender-hooks because he thought, that she was about to out them. She would never do that to him, no, this was for only him to understand, no one else. As he looked back at her, she heard her cue to come in and began singing, keeping her eyes on him. 

‘You leapt from crumbling bridges, watching cityscapes turn to dust.  
Filming helicopters crashing in the ocean, from way above.’

Ruki and Reila, she had found out from Ruki’s brother, had known each other from childhood and had spent their days, exploring abandoned areas, both having been avid adventurers. This habit had continued, even after they had grown up, they were always out exploring something. These adventures, sometimes lead to interesting sights and experiences. She watched Ruki, as she sang the last word, before she paused, letting the band play. His eye’s had narrowed slightly and she could tell he was trying to figure out the meaning behind the words. Well, he would know soon, she thought as she started to sing again. 

‘Got the music in you baby, tell me why?  
Got the music in you baby, tell me why?  
You've been locked in here forever, and you just can't say goodbye.

She moved her eye’s from Ruki, she didn’t need folks noticing who she was looking at and putting two and two together. Aoi was already looking as though he was suspicious, although she could tell that he liked the song already, so that was something at least. She refused to look at Ruki directly, instead, adjusting her body, so that she could still covertly watch him from her peripheral. He seemed like he was starting to click on to what this was about, as she saw him leaning into the table more, his eyes focused on her like a laser, she could feel the stare. She didn’t let it daunt her though and continued.

‘Kisses on the foreheads, of the lovers wrapped in your arms.  
You've been hiding them, in hollowed out pianos, left in the dark.’

That last line, was a direct reference, to the song that the GazettE had released, called Reila. A song, that they no longer played live because Ruki could never get through it, without starting to cry. So, the ‘left in the dark’, lyric was in reference to the song being shelved and not performed. She couldn’t blame him though. She would probably do the same with a song like that. 

Sometimes, song writing was a fantastic outlet for all feeling and emotion, however, as Lilith was finding out herself now, it didn’t always go as planned. She could feel her eyes trying to water as she sang this. It was, after all, a farewell song, the end of something that could have been amazing and perfect, except it would never have the chance to play out. The potential relationship was over, before it had even had the chance to begin. It would never happen and this was the first step to acceptance and healing. Even if she could feel Ruki’s stare, as it bore into her an inferno, building into an explosion. He was starting to understand exactly what this song was about and how it pertained to them. 

“Got the music in you baby, tell me why?  
Got the music in you baby, tell me why?  
You've been locked in here forever, and you just can't say goodbye.”

Ruki could feel his fear and angst start to build. Oh no, this wasn’t good. This song, as beautiful as it was, was solely directed at him. Lilith knew. She knew about...her. He didn’t know how but it didn’t matter, the point was, she knew about his past. A past, that he had never shared with her because he didn’t think that he needed too. No, that wasn’t right, he didn’t share because he didn’t want to tell Lilith. He didn’t want to talk about her, about Reila.

He couldn’t even sing that song any longer because it still hurt too much and now, now, it seemed as though he was about to lose Lilith because of it. He didn’t know when it had happened, but Lilith had done the one thing she was sure she wouldn’t do, and that he had warned her not to do, and that was to fall in love with him. This song was a farewell song, he was sure of it. What the hell was he going to do? 

He didn’t want to lose Lilith but he also knew, he couldn’t give her what she wanted or needed. He couldn’t love her in return because he was still very much in love with Reila. What a mess. He tuned back into the song, feeling his heart break in his chest, as he listened to the next series of lyrics. These, starting a fire in his soul, his unwarranted anger starting to take control. How dare she do this! She knew the risk before she got into this mess with him and now she wanted to leave!? After a year!? 

“Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.  
Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.  
Go and sneak us through, the rivers flood is rising up on your knees, oh please  
Come out and haunt me, I know you want me.  
Come out and haunt me.”

Ruki felt as his hands tightened into fists. What? Was she planning to think of him as a ghost from now on? Lock his memory away, while locking her heart up from him? Where did she get off doing this to him? Somewhere in his mind, he dully realised that he was being incredibly selfish and hypocritical, he did tell her that he would never be able to love her but he could give her everything else! Why would she give up everything he could give her, for the one thing he couldn’t? Was it really that important to her? Oh, they were going to have words as soon as she got off that stage. He knew she would be getting changed into her party clothing after her performance and then joining Aoi’s celebrations. He would intercept her in the back, they were using some of the larger VIP rooms, as a changing area for all who would be performing tonight and he knew exactly which one she had been assigned. He focused on her again, ignoring Uruha’s question of whether he was ok or not. 

“Sharing all your secrets with each other, since you were kids  
Sleeping soundly, with the locket that she gave you, clutched in your fist.  
Got the music in you baby, tell me why?  
Got the music in you baby, tell me why?  
You've been locked in here forever, and you just can't say goodbye.  
You've been locked in here forever, and you just can't say goodbye.”

Uruha watched as Ruki leveled a laser focused look on Lilith as she sang her newest song, a song that Uruha, could tell was extremely close to Lilith, he could hear it in her voice. Normally, she was a beautiful song bird, who rarely shook. It was barely there but he heard the quiver in her voice none the less. And he knew Aoi had heard it too, he knew her better than anyone else and he especially knew her voice better than anyone else. He should, he was the one that had discovered and then signed, her to Heresy.

Uruha had also caught her looking at Ruki at the beginning of the song, she had kept her eyes off him for the rest of the song but Ruki couldn’t take his from her. He had been staring her out this entire time. 

The rest of the band, thought Uruha to be oblivious to everything around him but the truth was, he was a true observer, who didn’t let anyone know that he was observing. He found that, when people thought you oblivious, they tended to be less guarded, saying and doing things, that they normally wouldn’t, with someone that they knew was ever watchful. Uruha used this gift of his, to his advantage in every aspect of his life, even with his group. And right now? Ruki was giving off all sorts of bad vibes, his anger practically becoming a sentient being. 

Uruha wasn’t stupid, he knew that Ruki and Lilith had been dallying with one another for the last year. Evidently, Ruki had done or said something at the start of their, whatever it was that they had, that had finally broken Lilith down. She was leaving Ruki. She refused to stay with him any longer and Ruki was selfishly refusing to accept it. Seemingly uncaring that he was the one that put in motion, what ever it was that had caused Lilith’s distancing from him. Ruki had fucked up somewhere and he knew it and now, he was thinking of ways to avoid the consequences. Uruha didn’t like the implication that Ruki’s current mood presented, it couldn’t end well for Lilith, he needed to intervene somehow, but how? 

As he glanced around, his eyes landed on Aoi, who was watching Lilith, an affectionate and proud smile on his face. Bingo. Uruha got up from his seat beside Ruki quietly and made his way over to Aoi, kneeling down beside the older man. Aoi turned and cocked his brow at Uruha, who flicked his newly colored, silver hair, out of his eyes and beckoned Aoi to lean down. Aoi narrowed his eyes momentarily before he did as told, leaning his head down, so that Uruha could speak into his ear, without anyone else overhearing. 

‘Aoi, as soon as Lilith is done with this song, you should follow her back to her changing area immediately. I think something serious is about to go down between Ruki and her. He’s sitting over there, aggravated to fuck and he doesn’t look like he has his famed control right now at all.’ 

‘Why should I have to do that? Why would there be any confrontation between Ruki and Lilith?’ Aoi asked in question. 

‘Aoi! Have you been actually listening to the lyrics of this song, who the fuck does it sound like it’s about? Did you not notice Lilith looking directly at Ruki, as she started singing this song? Look, I’m pretty sure that those two have been sleeping together for a very long time and I think Ruki has fucked up somewhere and now Lilith is leaving him and he really does not like that.’ Uruha paused here, letting Aoi digest this bombshell and to give the man a chance to cage the beast, that was starting to blaze behind his eyes. No one fucked with Lilith on his watch, that was a given. 

‘What do you think is going to happen?’ Aoi asked, his voice an almost growl. Oh boy, yeah, he was pissed. 

‘I don’t think he’s going to let her go easily, this could get messy, I think you should be with her just in case. Try and get the story from her. I would do it myself but she would sooner knock me the fuck out, rather than let me stay, if I tried to post myself in the room with her, while she changed out of her gown. Whereas, she doesn’t care if you are there or not, you’ve been friends too long and have both changed in front of one another before. You will also possibly prevent Ruki from making a giant mess. He’s less likely to confront Lilith about whatever the hell this is about, seeing as he thinks no one knows about he and Lilith and their whatevership.’

‘Thank you for telling me. Excuse me Uruha-san.’ Aoi replied, his eyes blazing and his entire body tense and poised like a tiger getting ready to pounce it’s prey. He started to make his way across the room, keeping out of Ruki’s purview and slipping behind the curtains. 

Uruha sighed in relief, he had got to Aoi in the nick of time, as he heard the last lyrics of the song come from Lilith’s lips, the band fading out to silence as they finished the outro. 

“Oh, when you're all alone, I will reach for you,  
When you're feeling low, I will be there, too.”

Lilith took a moment to thank the crowd and then took a final bow and exited from the stage. Uruha watched, as Ruki waited for a few minutes before he launched up from his chair and headed in the same direction as Lilith and Aoi. Uruha sighed, this wasn’t gonna be pretty. Ruki still knew where Lilith lived. 

As Lilith rubbed at her neck, she opened her dressing room door and jumped in shock, when her eyes landed on Aoi, lounging on the small couch in the room. Damn, he looked good tonight and definitely did not look his age. Lilith was convinced that Aoi was some kind of vampire, he never seemed to age a day! She was quite jealous honestly. 

He was wearing a pair of dark jeans and his favorite leather boots. His shirt was black, with white pinstripe, which he left the top few buttons undone, showing off a little of his chest. His hair was wavy tonight and framing his face beautifully. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the years of friendship behind them and also the considerable age gap, she would be all over this man, if he’d let her. 

‘Aoi-kun, to what, do I owe the pleasure of your gracious self? Did you come to be a peeping Tom?’ Lilith asked with a chuckle. 

Aoi laughed lightly at her joke. ‘Why yes, that is exactly why I am here right now, yep, definitely here to peep on you, this is the peep show room after all.’ He replied, making Lilith laugh out loud, as she grabbed her party clothes. 

‘Well then, make yourself useful, help me with this zipper please.’ Lilith asked as she presented her back to him and listened as he got up from the couch and made his way up to her. 

Once he was behind her, he gripped the edges of her dress and pulled the zipper down for her, getting a peak of her lacy underwear underneath. Aoi shook his head in indifference, if she had been anyone else, other than one of his best friends and a little bit older, then he would probably pursue her. Oh well. What could you do? He stepped back then and gently nudged her, letting her know she was free. She flashed him a smile of thanks over her shoulder as she made her way to the changing screen in the room, pulling it out and stepping behind it, the screen only covering her from her chest to her upper thighs. 

‘So, what does bring you in here anyway?’ Lilith asked, as Aoi watched her gown slide down her body to flutter into a pool by her ankles, she, stepping out of it once it hit the floor. 

He knelt down and pulled the gown towards him and reached over the screen with his arm, asking for the dress hanger non-verbally. Lilith handed it too him. As he straightened out the beautiful gown, one of his favorites of hers, and slipped it onto it’s hanger. Moving over to the garment bag and sliding it into the bag, zipping it up as he spoke. 

‘Who was Apocalypse written about Lilith? I know everything about you and I have been with you most of this year and I know you haven’t had anyone, or at least, no one that I know about.’ 

‘Uh...well...um...’ 

‘Was it Ruki?’ Aoi asked bluntly. Lilith’s sharp gasp and the clatter of hangers hitting the floor, all the answer he needed. So Uruha was right. 

‘Aoi...I...well...’ 

‘You’ve been sleeping with him haven’t you? What’s going on Lilith? What’s he done and please, don’t lie to me. According to Uruha, he is very pissed at you right now. That’s why I’m here, Uruha is worried that Ruki is too angry, so he sent me back here.’ Aoi spoke gently. 

‘Well it wouldn’t fucking take him to be! He has no fucking right to be pissed after what he put me through! Granted, it wasn’t solely his fault, but he can’t be pissed at the truth or at me leaving him! He’s asked for it honestly!’ Lilith spat before she had a chance to stop herself. 

Fuck. The cat was out now. She shook her head and then jumped, not noticing when Aoi stepped behind the screen with her, his eyes fiery.

‘What are you talking about? What happened!?’ Aoi demanded. 

‘Gee Aoi, how about asking to come behind my changing screen next time.’ Lilith tried to quip to lighten the mood, it didn’t work. 

‘I’ve seen you buck ass naked, so it’s really nothing I haven’t seen before. Now, what happened?’ 

‘Fine. Fine. I’ll give you the footnotes. Ruki and I started sleeping together a year ago now. When we first began this whole, situationship, we had talked, namely about what was going to happen, if we went ahead. Well, Ruki made it very clear that I shouldn’t get emotionally attached to him because he would never be able to reciprocate it.’ Lilith paused here, watching as Aoi’s jaw started to tick, with his annoyance. 

But he nodded for her to continue, none the less. She sighed and nodded back, stepping into her other dress, a red, slinky, figure hugging, knee length pencil dress with a slight sweetheart neckline and cap sleeves, displaying her cleavage quite nicely. She then turned her back to Aoi again, after she situated it on her body, asking without words for him to zipper her in, which he did without hesitation. 

‘At first, I was cool with that because, at the time, I didn’t want anything to do with love and I had sworn off it, after Yoshiki. So, I had agreed and we were cool. Until I started seeing him more than once every few months. There was a period of time, while you guys were on a lengthy break, were Ruki and I were spending much more time together. Well, before I realised it, I had actually fallen for him. But I knew I couldn’t tell him that and I suffered in silence with it because after all, it was my stupid fault for allowing my emotions to go out of control. Well around the same time, I started hearing him call out a woman’s name in his sleep, Reila.’ Here she stopped again as she seen Aoi close his eyes in aggravation, raising his hand to rub them and his face, a clear sign of his agitation. He motioned with her hand to keep going. She gave him another moment, while she slipped back into her stilettos, then continued.

‘Well, at first, I thought I was a side chick for him but before I got pissed and kicked his ass, I decided to research it first. And I found all the news articles and the obits and found out that Ruki, was her boyfriend for a long time.’ She dropped her voice here, just in case, then continued. ‘Then, one day, I got a visit from Hideto.’ 

‘Ruki’s older brother!?!’ Aoi almost yelled but Lilith shoved her hand over his mouth. 

‘Quiet! Yes, his older brother. He was able to fill in the rest for me. Apparently, one night when Ruki was visiting his family, he had called me and Hideto had overheard the conversation. Hideto had then questioned him. Found out he was keeping a lot from me and so, he tracked me down and spoke with me. That’s when I found out about all the childhood stuff too.’ Lilith explained, still being quiet, she was sure she could hear footsteps headed her way. 

‘So what? I mean, did you do anything?’ 

‘Not at first. But the more I seen and the more Ruki kept calling her name when we spent the night together, the more Hideto’s words came to me and the more I understood that Ruki was deliberately keeping himself emotionally unavailable. I’m sure he legitimately still loves Reila, she was a big part of his life but I also know, that enough time has passed, that he has healed enough and has the ability to love again, he just chooses not too. He chooses to hold on to her and lock away his emotions for anyone else, so that he can’t feel them. He’s a creature of habit Aoi. And I’ve tried to break him of it but he refuses at every turn. He’s a lost cause, so now I have to leave him behind and go and lick my wounds in private and get over him. Not something I can do, if I’m still with him in any capacity or seeing him. I can’t fight for him anymore, I can’t compete with, gods rest her soul, a dead girl. I can’t.’ Lilith replied quickly, as she stepped from the changing screen, pulling Aoi with her. 

They had just sat down on the couch, when the handle of the door pushed down and the door opened, to show a rather livid Ruki on the other side. A Ruki, that suddenly lost all wind in his sails, once his eyes landed on Aoi. 

‘Aoi, what are you doing in here with Lilith?’ He asked, a little too sharply for Aoi’s comfort. 

‘Watch it kid. Don’t forget who the elder is here and who the best friend is. What are you doing here?’ 

‘I came to talk to Lilith in private. So, could you please give us a moment?’ Ruki asked, biting his tongue at Aoi’s rebuttal.

‘I could. Or. I could just chill here. Wouldn’t matter either way Ruki, I’ll find out what it was about regardless. There’s very little, that Lilith keeps from me if I ask her. Speaking off, Lilith, that was a beautiful new song tonight, however, I’m a little perplexed as to it’s meaning, could you explain it please?’ Aoi asked brazenly. 

‘NO! She may not explain it!’ Ruki answered quickly, a snap in his voice that warned of retribution if Lilith explained it. 

‘Oh Lilith, it’s seems you’ve suddenly become a Japanese man, how queer?’ Aoi directed at Lilith sarcastically, making Lilith bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. Then to Ruki. 

‘Did I ask you? No, I did not. Keep your mouth closed Ruki. She does not need someone to speak for her. She is fluent in both English and Japanese. Now Lilith, about Apocalypse?’ 

‘Aoi...I don’t think...’ Lilith began but got cut off by Aoi. 

‘Never mind. Here, I’ll give you my take, just by putting together the time line, accounting the lyrics and taking notice of where your eyes were, at the beginning, and how that certain person spent the rest of the song. I’m guessing you’ve been dallying with Ruki for the past year, because I know you haven’t met anyone else, apart from my group. I know you’re not with Kai, Reita or Uruha and certainly not me, which only leaves Ruki. Here’s why that theory fits. You see, I know Ruki and I know his past.’ Aoi explained, looking directly at Ruki, who had started to shake. Then over to Lilith who was sitting open mouthed. He continued then.

‘Clearly Ruki is still living in the past, anyone can tell that, especially considering a certain song of ours has been shelved, never to see the light of day again. I think, you’re in love with Ruki, not intentionally, definitely not, not after Yoshiki, I wouldn’t imagine anyway. But Ruki here, can’t reciprocate that, because he refuses too, not because he can’t. So, I think you’ve finally had enough, which is what has prompted you to write this farewell ballad because let’s be real here, that’s exactly what Apocalypse is about, right down to it’s title. An Apocalypse is an end to everything. And, honestly, who could blame you Lilith? You fell in love with a man, that absolutely refuses to even try and reciprocate. You’re perfectly within your right, to not take that shit any longer and protect yourself from it. And no one’   
Here, he cut a pointed look at Ruki, meeting the other mans dangerous eyes, then flicked his own back to Lilith, to finish his speech. ‘Has a right to try and force you to stay or to fight you on your decision, if they can’t even be bothered to try and reciprocate your feelings and give a relationship a chance.’ 

‘I know it’ll be hard, but, I wouldn’t worry too much Lilith. When you’re recovered, I know Uruha would be very interested, in seeing if you two could work. Something that Ruki knows as well, which might explain why he doesn’t want you going anywhere.’ Aoi admitted slyly. Smiling wickedly when Ruki’s indignant shout was heard. 

‘What the FUCK Aoi!? Why the fuck did you tell her!?’ 

‘And why shouldn’t he tell me!? It’s not like you have a say! What will you lose Ruki? Except your fucking booty call. You’ll find a new one within days, I’m sure.’ 

Aoi’s smile turned to a triumphant smirk as he sat back and watched the fireworks. Why the hell shouldn’t Lilith know? She had someone that would practically trip over themselves, to have her at their side in every way? The simple answer was, there wasn’t a reason. She needed to know about it and besides Uruha and her were close anyway, it wasn’t a far fetched idea that one would end up wanting more, not with how good they were together. He had never seen a better problem solving duo than Lilith and Uruha. 

The best part? Uruha didn’t give a fuck that Ruki had been booty calling Lilith, because he obviously had known that, that was all she was to Ruki, a hole to fuck. Uruha on the other hand, would be ready, willing and able, to give Lilith everything that Ruki refused to give. So fuck yeah, Aoi was going to tout that and make sure it was known. Plus he was doing Uru a solid as the other man had had no idea how to approach Lilith with his feelings, even though he really wanted too. Well, Aoi had just taken that issue from him and besides, Aoi himself, wanted Lilith happy and he knew that she wouldn’t find that with Ruki. He let his thoughts float from his head as he tuned back into the current ongoing argument between Ruki and Lilith. Pulling his phone out and shooting a text to Uruha, explaining that he had told Lilith about his feelings and that he probably should come back to the room. He had received a text almost instantly, thanking him and telling him that he was on his way. Aoi smirked wider as he responded. ‘Fire in here. Ruki and Lilith are getting into it big time. And she is having NONE of his shit.’ 

‘All I want to know, is why can’t you just be happy with what I can give you? Is love really that fucking important, it’s a damned overrated emotion anyhow.’ Ruki spat. 

‘Wow! You are such a fuckin’ hypocrite Ruki! You say love is an overrated emotion and yet, who’s the one tossin’ and turnin’ at night, callin’ the name of someone, who, bless their soul, is dead and has been for years? Because it ‘aint fuckin’ me!’ Lilith fired back, her anger bringing her Northern Irish accent out strongly. 

Aoi shivered at this as he listened. Oh man, that accent of hers always effected him in weird ways. It effected all of them to an extent actually, some sexual, some just liking the sound, for the exoticism. He lifted his head up and towards the door as he seen it open and Uruha stepping through. Ruki had noticed to and pitched a fit. 

‘The fuck are YOU doing in here! You’re part of this fucking problem!’ Ruki yelled. 

‘HE can STAY! You however can get the FUCK out!’ Lilith snapped before Uruha said anything. Uruha smiling smugly at Ruki, as he made his way over and took a seat beside Aoi, as Lilith had jumped up during the argument and had freed her spot.

Aoi then proceeded to fill Uruha in, on what was going on and what exactly had lead up to this, telling him that his suspicions had been right. Uruha listened and just shook his head in disgust as he glared in Ruki’s direction. 

‘So, they were in an agreement at first. But Lilith fell and now that she’s tried and failed to change Ruki’s mind, she’s accepted that it will always be one sided, and she’s refusing to put herself through anymore pain. But Ruki is trying to get her to stick around and keep things as they are, not understanding why she can’t settle for less? Wow...for someone who is so intelligent, he’s a fucking idiot right now.’ Uruha explained.

‘In a nutshell. Think you can fix that broken heart of hers? Do you even still want too after this?’ Aoi replied. 

‘So what if he’s fucked her. I’ll get to make love to her, if this turns out well, there’s a big difference between fucking and love making. Besides, I know I’m bigger and better, so there isn’t even an esteem issue here.’ Uruha joked, then continued. 

‘Who came before doesn’t matter, even if it is a friend, what matters is what comes after. I can help ‘fix’ her but not before she’s ready. I always did like a challenge, and a feisty, fiery, broken hearted, Irish girl, doing her level best to fix herself, sounds like the perfect challenge to me. She, just like all women, doesn’t need a man to fix her Aoi, she can do that herself, just fine. But, she might need a helping hand, which I’m happy to provide if she wants it.’

‘So if I entrust her to you, you won’t let me down right?’ Aoi asked. 

‘No day, is a good day to die and especially not to your hands. I’m good and like my body best, when it’s breathing thanks.’ Uruha quipped, making Aoi laugh quietly before both men looked back at the arguing couple. 

‘You know what. FINE! If you don’t want what I can offer, then I’ll take it and give it to someone else! Someone who can appreciate it!’ Ruki yelled, his face twisted into a snarl. 

‘Then you’re going to wanna look at the Gold Diggers. Because all you can provide someone, is physical touch, monetary support and occasional companionship. No true and good woman, is going to settle for a loveless relationship. Good luck with that!’ Lilith yelled back, leaning forward slightly, her arms resting under her chest, pushing up her generous breasts invitingly, although that went unnoticed by Lilith, but every man in the room noticed. 

Aoi stared, feeling a little sick because he felt the first twinge of something, that he had ever felt around Lilith and he couldn’t pull his eyes away. Ruki, looking forlorn and lost and Uruha had a quirked brow and hooded eyes, yep, he was definitely a little aroused with the sight as well. Really now. She really didn’t realise how sexually appealing she was, did she?

Ruki gaped at her for a moment, after he’d pulled his eyes from her beckoning bosom. His face turning to stone, as he spoke once more. 

‘So that’s really it then? Over. Finished. Sayonara?’ 

‘Yes.’ Lilith replied without hesitation, Aoi and Uruha seeing as Ruki’s eyes shuttered as he hid his expression. He was actually stung and stung hard. Well, it served him right. 

As much as both of them felt for Ruki and his situation, he had dug himself into this hole. He had refused to let go after all of these years and it had finally backfired on him. Maybe now, he would start to set this shit aside and do better next time, with someone else. But even though both men felt for the younger man, they knew he had to feel this right now, to make him realise that it wasn’t worth living in the past. Lilith was right, Ruki had asked for this. 

Ruki didn’t say anything after that, he just turned and left the room. Slamming the door behind him and they didn’t see him again, the rest of that night. But, they couldn’t be mad, they understood why. So, Aoi didn’t hold, walking out on his birthday, against Ruki at all. 

After Aoi had left the room, Uruha and Lilith were alone. It was time for another conversation. 

‘Lilith, sit, please.’ Uruha requested politely, as he patted the seat beside him and then added. ‘I know it’s not the best time, like at all, but we should probably talk. Aoi told me, that he told you.’ 

Lilith sighed, giving Uruha a tired smile, arguing always exhausted her. 

‘No, it’s not the best time at all. But, you’re right. We do need to talk.’ Lilith replied as she sat beside him. 

They soon launched into their conversation, one that lasted for a long time. Aoi checked in periodically, just to make sure everything was alright. When they were finished, they both left the room, to enjoy the rest of the night with Aoi and everyone else, minus Ruki of course but somethings, simply couldn’t be helped. 

\- X – X – X -

Four years had passed since that night, Uruha and Lilith, now married, stepped into the same club as that fateful night and for the same reason as before. As they walked through the door, Aoi greeted them almost immediately, pulling Lilith and Uruha into a hug. 

‘It’s so good to see you both. It’s been a while because you’ve both been too busy traveling Europe. Making good use of the GazettE’s hiatus I see.’ Aoi spoke, making Uruha and Lilith chuckle a little. 

‘Yes we have but it’s good to be back in Japan. We missed the place.’ Lilith replied as Uruha nodded in agreement. 

‘Oh, here. Happy Birthday!’ Lilith exclaimed, remembering she had Aoi’s gifts with her but only after, Uruha had tugged lightly on the gift bag in her hand, her husband laughing as she blushed. 

‘Thank you! Neither of you had to do that.’ Aoi replied, taking the bag gratefully. 

‘Oh shut it!’ Uruha said, then added. ‘We also have this for you too. A collection of gifts, that we collected on our European travel.’ He then handed another large bag to Aoi with a smile. 

‘Oh wow. Thank you again guys. So, what are you both drinking?’ 

‘Sake for me.’ Uruha replied immediately, making Lilith giggle. 

‘Lychee juice for me. Virgin. Lychee juice.’ Lilith answered, Aoi looking at her like she was crazy. 

‘Who are you and what have you done with Lilith. One of the reasons you and Uruha match so well, is your equal love for booze.’ Aoi stated suspiciously, making Lilith laugh and then glance at Uruha, a silent question in her eyes. He smiled wide and nodded. 

‘Come here Aoi..’ Lilith began, pulling his head down, so his ear was level with her mouth. ‘As much as my second true love is booze, I can’t drink it right now, as my first true love knocked me up in Rome. We’re pregnant!’ She finished in a whisper. 

Aoi stumbled back in shock, staring at both of his friends. 

‘No fucking way! Really!?’ He asked, a huge smile on his face. 

‘Really!’ Uruha replied, leaning in towards Aoi, flicking his long silver hair out of his face. 

‘Congratulations!’ Aoi whooped as he pulled both of them in for hugs again. 

They spent the rest of the evening, enjoying Aoi’s birthday, with him, the band and all of the other invitees. Lilith had been worried about seeing Ruki again, especially after all the crap they’d been through. However, to her pleasant surprise, he had taken the four years that had passed and put to bed his issues when it came to love and relationships. He had finally exorcised Reila’s ghost. A lot of therapy and a lot of support had helped him immeasurably. He was now engaged to a pretty woman called Sukina and they were also expecting their first child. Ruki had approached her later in the night, asking her to join him outside for a moment. She had told Uruha where she was going and then followed Ruki. He had stood quiet for a few moments as he smoked, a habit that Lilith had kicked as soon as she found out about her pregnancy, then he spoke. 

‘I won’t keep you, it’s cold out here and I don’t like leaving Sukina for too long, this close to her due date. But I just wanted to get a minute with you alone, to say thank you.’ 

‘For what?’ Lilith asked curiously. 

‘For making me see sense. After our argument and falling out, I started on the very long journey of recovery and found out a lot of things about myself, that I really didn’t like. I worked really hard, the first two years, to correct all that was wrong and then right as I was about to give up, thinking it wasn’t working, Sukina entered my life.’ He paused here, taking a draw from his cigarette, as Lilith placed her hand on his arm and squeezed gently. He smiled at her, then continued.

‘Well, within a few months, I realised that everything I was doing was actually working. Then, with her help, I explained everything to her by the way, another lesson of yours, I was able to make even more progress. And now, here I am, getting married and about to be a father. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here now, so thank you Lilith.’ He finished and then pulled her into a tight hug, which she returned. 

‘You don’t have to thank me Ruki. I’m just glad you’re in a much better place now. Congratulations by the way! Marriage and babies!’ Lilith replied with a grin as she pulled away. 

‘Congratulations to you too. Uruha told me earlier. Never thought I’d see the day that he, of all people, would become a father but it’s great to here. You’re both looking like you’re doing well.’ Ruki responded, a small smile on his face. 

‘We are. Very much so.’ Lilith confirmed, as Ruki put out his cigarette and then wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading them both back into the club. They had partners and a party to get back to. 

\- - - Fin - - -

**Author's Note:**

> Links to the music, in order of appearance:
> 
> 1: Blue October : Shake it Up - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7TYnJn15nk
> 
> 2: Blue Foundation : Eyes on Fire - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlEQnZdlae
> 
> 3: Tori Amos : Leather - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZk6qPGP4OE
> 
> 4: Cigarettes After Sex : Apocalypse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLqfkSTtEAI


End file.
